I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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