Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So much rum. So many feels.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
