the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
where am i from again
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
