I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
