just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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