Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There's always time for handjobs
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
