Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
