Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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