I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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