We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
