I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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