sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
