How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
