Yo dont text me then not text me
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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