Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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