We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
