am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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