They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
