dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
