She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It's never too late to be topless.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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