clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
