In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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