I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
