Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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