You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
