Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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