It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
