My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
