I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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