Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize