Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Watching her eat just hurts me
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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