Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
