dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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