Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
