I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You are the jesus of drinking
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
