SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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