i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
