I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
