i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
