please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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