wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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