I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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