Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
