But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize