So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
