Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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