you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
