That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
