he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
