Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
They have beer where we have blood.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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