I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
