my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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