I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
