operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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