if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
