you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
mondays should just be called national damage control day
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize