I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
