I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
