At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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