Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My liver just broke up with me...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
