I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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