so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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